I stopped nursing my son this past October. After 2 babies and 6 years, I was ready to be done. I didn't pay attention that last time we nursed. I didn't pay attention to the way he played with my hair or the way he may have hung his long preschooler leg over my shoulder. I don't remember what that reliable oxytocin felt like or if either of us even knew that it would be the last time. But it was.
When I read Sally Salzer's post that she shared in our local Holistic Parenting Network of Buffalo I was moved to tears. This shit is hard. Motherhood is hard. Here's her story.
Last night I nursed my baby for the last time. She will be 4 in April.
I have made this post countless times. When she was 4 months old and I went back to work full time, when she was 10 months old and my supply had suddenly disappeared (thank you to all of our milk donors!) and now at almost 4 years old. So many times I struggled and wanted to give up, but because of the support of other women and my passion for nourishing my baby with the body I am so grateful to have, I made it to 4 years.
This was never a goal of mine. I never saw myself breastfeeding a nearly 4 year old, let alone even having a baby in the first place but this is what motherhood is. It’s a journey, and you learn and grow more than you could ever imagine. You do things you never thought you would do, or were even capable of doing. You change. And that is such a beautiful thing.
This journey has been hard, I won’t lie, but it has also been so incredibly beautiful. The connection I have with my daughter is unbreakable. The fact that myself and many other women kept her alive for so long is nothing short of amazing.
I suffered terribly from postpartum anxiety for the first 15 months of her life and I never would have made it through any of that without the support of other women going through the same. I would have never made it this far with breastfeeding without all of the love, milk donations and friendships that I have been so blessed with.
I didn’t plan on saying anything about this. She actually hasn’t nursed in probably 2 weeks and I was wondering if I would even remember our last time, but last night the moment was perfect and she understood and we were both ready.
So to the mama’s out there struggling, you’re not alone. Reach out for help if you need it. Don’t do it alone. It truly does take a village. And if you followed me at all over the last 4 years you know that this is a true accomplishment, and I am so proud.
This picture is our first attempt at latching just seconds after she was born.
Follow Sally's Journey in healthy living and motherhood on instagram and check out her closed facebook group Women's Empowerment Society.
Hi. I'm Lindsay. Daughter, sister, wife, mother and collector of useless (and useful) information.