I feel so nauseous today, craving a quiet solo space to reflect and write about this weekend’s Buffalo NY Climb Out of the Darkness Walk for Postpartum Mental Health 2018 and Buffalo’s first visit from Ashlee Dean Wells of 4th Trimester Bodies Project.
But my life doesn’t include many quiet solitary spaces these days. It includes PBS Kids, getting bagels, then snacks, then a second breakfast (because our small people forget that they are able to grab an apple from the fridge). It includes checking secretly on my “free range” kids in the backyard and making sure the little one isn’t killing the bigger one with a metal shovel. It includes stacked up dishes and laundry and packing for our one and only vacation of the year. It includes sleep deprivation (because even when our little guy stays the night in his own bed, my body doesn’t quite know how to sleep longer than 4 hours anymore)…
I talk about days when they will be able to kayak with us and travel the world, but I know in my heart that when those days come I will crave these mornings,
when they needed me,
when their sticky hands tugged at my arm to show me some ugly bug they found in the backyard..
I know that I will miss these days more than I loved or appreciated them when I was going through them...
Okay, maybe only 50% of the time.
Hi. I'm Lindsay. Daughter, sister, wife, mother and collector of useless (and useful) information.